My last post about the article on Steve Grand to the Washington Blade
RE: Michael K. Lavers article on July 10thMike Jones
Rob, I’ve attempted to present in the comments that I have posted here that I wish Steve was telling the story of a straight male friend who was respecting him and not rebuffing him for his advances. And while we know of many straight men who do this for us, Steve chose to not ask a straight man to perform that role in his video. Steve needed the man in his video to be his straight acting gay male
crush. As I have explored this further, it’s become more troubling to me. I’ve made available additional resources to what I’ve posted here, at: http://
The real story here is that Steve met Nicholas Alan about a year and a half ago in Miami. Nick, aka. Taylor, states that Steve felt Nick was Steve’s AAB right from the start. Nick, as a gay man himself, has in common with Steve the trade of marketi...ng his well-sculptured body and fairly attractive appearance. Basically that’s all that they have in common, it appears. Steve modeled for gay underwear photo-shoots, Nick does straight acting gay porn. Nick is precisely the type of person Steve talks about that he has crushed on for most of his life, but not because he is portrayed to be straight. Thus, Nick is an even greater unrequited love for Steve, because he is a gay man whom Steve still cannot have.
Steve’s real idea of the All-American Boy is a straight acting, cocky, well-toned, somewhat self-absorbed, fairly attractive, sports oriented, slightly older male, confident enough to do gay porn. That Steve needed to have this particular type of man to act the role for him of a likely straight man, for him to pull off his video is sad. And then to suggest that this is an example of what we are working toward in terms of respect in our society. I believe this insults most all of us. Except those who came up with the idea. It’s clever marketing from Jason, Nick and Steve. I’ll give them that. Go, capitalism and the free market.
Most of those who embrace Steve’s story are not embracing the reality of his story. But, merely a distorted symbolic adult representation of his childhood story, retold in a context that he can be comfortable telling it in. It’s valid that we read our stories into this story. I just wish Steve could have been honest about his own. This video does a disservice even to those who would comfortably and confidently say that they are bisexual in their identity and in their orientation.
I’d say that roughly 95% of the hundreds of comments that I have read from people, such as yourself, suggest that they felt Steve’s crush was representing a straight man. When in reality, Steve couldn’t even do the video with a straight man. He needed to have his unrequited gay male crush represent for him unrequited straight male attraction. It may make for good music and a good video, howbeit, hardly country, but it’s not helpful honesty as we work to move our society forward in terms of meaningful understanding.
I think our culture is ready to be respecting enough that Steve could have simply been honest, told his real story of youth or adulthood, instead of feeling the need to deceive the public to market his song. He was unclear, just enough, not to be guilty of outright distortion. Yet definitely not transparent enough to earn my respect, even while I accept what he is trying to do.
I’ve organized on my blog site, the articles, interviews, and Twitter conversations, that I gleaned trying to understand where Steve was coming from. I offer them to you for your evaluation and consideration. In part, at least, I think Steve is well meaning and is trying to figure out just what honesty is for him. He is young. I hope he learns from this experience.
I’m thankful that the Washington Post has allowed me to share my comments here. The tone of this article’s author, Michael K. Lavers, is what drew me to want to participate here. See More
crush. As I have explored this further, it’s become more troubling to me. I’ve made available additional resources to what I’ve posted here, at: http://
The real story here is that Steve met Nicholas Alan about a year and a half ago in Miami. Nick, aka. Taylor, states that Steve felt Nick was Steve’s AAB right from the start. Nick, as a gay man himself, has in common with Steve the trade of marketi...ng his well-sculptured body and fairly attractive appearance. Basically that’s all that they have in common, it appears. Steve modeled for gay underwear photo-shoots, Nick does straight acting gay porn. Nick is precisely the type of person Steve talks about that he has crushed on for most of his life, but not because he is portrayed to be straight. Thus, Nick is an even greater unrequited love for Steve, because he is a gay man whom Steve still cannot have.
Steve’s real idea of the All-American Boy is a straight acting, cocky, well-toned, somewhat self-absorbed, fairly attractive, sports oriented, slightly older male, confident enough to do gay porn. That Steve needed to have this particular type of man to act the role for him of a likely straight man, for him to pull off his video is sad. And then to suggest that this is an example of what we are working toward in terms of respect in our society. I believe this insults most all of us. Except those who came up with the idea. It’s clever marketing from Jason, Nick and Steve. I’ll give them that. Go, capitalism and the free market.
Most of those who embrace Steve’s story are not embracing the reality of his story. But, merely a distorted symbolic adult representation of his childhood story, retold in a context that he can be comfortable telling it in. It’s valid that we read our stories into this story. I just wish Steve could have been honest about his own. This video does a disservice even to those who would comfortably and confidently say that they are bisexual in their identity and in their orientation.
I’d say that roughly 95% of the hundreds of comments that I have read from people, such as yourself, suggest that they felt Steve’s crush was representing a straight man. When in reality, Steve couldn’t even do the video with a straight man. He needed to have his unrequited gay male crush represent for him unrequited straight male attraction. It may make for good music and a good video, howbeit, hardly country, but it’s not helpful honesty as we work to move our society forward in terms of meaningful understanding.
I think our culture is ready to be respecting enough that Steve could have simply been honest, told his real story of youth or adulthood, instead of feeling the need to deceive the public to market his song. He was unclear, just enough, not to be guilty of outright distortion. Yet definitely not transparent enough to earn my respect, even while I accept what he is trying to do.
I’ve organized on my blog site, the articles, interviews, and Twitter conversations, that I gleaned trying to understand where Steve was coming from. I offer them to you for your evaluation and consideration. In part, at least, I think Steve is well meaning and is trying to figure out just what honesty is for him. He is young. I hope he learns from this experience.
I’m thankful that the Washington Post has allowed me to share my comments here. The tone of this article’s author, Michael K. Lavers, is what drew me to want to participate here. See More
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